Download the book Lady In Waiting – Chapter 6 here.
This post is such a summary that I made and understand from book Lady in Waiting by Jackie Kendall and Debby Jones
Read the others Chapters:
Chapter #1 Lady of Reckless Abandonment
Chapter #2 Lady of Diligence
Chapter #3 Lady of Faith
Chapter #4 Lady of Virtue
Chapter #5 Lady of Devotion
Chapter #7 Lady of Security
Chapter #8 Lady of Contentment
Chapter #9 Lady of Conviction
Chapter #10 Lady of Patience
Let’s remember again how the serpent deceived Eve by causing her to question God? He caused her to believe that God wanted to deny her something good, not provide her something better. The same way with sex, the enemy wants us to believe that if we wait to have sex, we’ll miss out on some of the delights of life. Godly women must avoid basing their comprehension of the pleasures of sex on what commercials advertise, magazine galmorize, or books sensationalize. Let’s look to our heavenly Father, our Creator, for the real truth. God gives true sexual fulfillment to the lady who waits for this gift within marriage only. The wonder and joy of this intimate act is maximized through purity before marriage. Do not be deceived, sex is special! Not sensuous sex, but satisfying sex in our Creator’s way and time.
Since sex is desirable, why not have sex? Why would God wanna Limit our pleasure with someone for whom we feel affection but haven’t married? God wants us to be a Lady of Purity because He wants to protect us from the consequences that sex before marriage brings:
Each woman receives one first time, God desires for our precious gift to be given to a committed lover who will cherish, keep, and protect us in marriage. God wants us and our gift to this man to be treasured and cherished, and trampled and conquered. God also wanna protect us from the sexually transmitted diseases that could affect not only us, our own self, but also our future husband either our future children. God also desires to shield us from an unwanted pregnancy. Although precautions exist, but pregnancy always remains a possibility.
Our God intricately and delicately formed us, women, with emotional characteristics that differ from men. A woman cannot separate our emotions from our physical state. The man who touches our body, also touches our emotions. God made us that way, cause He desires to protect our heart from being ripped by any man. Even when we do take the wrong move and give away our purity before marriage, we can be fully forgiven and cleansed by Christ, but damaged emotions take time to heal. The Lord doesn’t want us to suffer these hurts. We are too precious for Him.
A woman has a depth of soul that desires an intimate friendship, apart from anything phsical, with the man we love. We desires to be known for the woman we are, not just for our physical body. A couple who chooses to remain physically pure gives all their time and attention for knowing one another on a deeper mental and emotional level. Once passion is introduced into the relationship, it’s difficult for the man to stop and be satisfied again with just developing the friendship. This’s why so many women enjoy the relationship until the frienship changes to dating. If we want the friendship to be knowing who we each are, don’t distract each other with early or inappropriate physical contact.
A person will feel acute spiritual pain and separation from God when engaging in sex outside of marriage, but may not even realize how spiritually beneficial and unifying sex within marriage.
“God doesn’t intend to deny our pleasure, He protects us so we might enjoy physical health, emotional stability, relational intimacy, and spiritual blessings. If we marry, He wants us to grow more in love with our husband with each passing year and live in complete trust of one another and spend a lifetime in love instead of the consequences of fleeting night of uncontrolled lust.”
Guarding the Treasure
“Watch over your heart with all diligence, for from it flow the springs of life.” Proverbs 4:23
How a Lady in Waiting guard her purity? While a man has a woman’s heart, her body is not far behind. To walk in purity, a Lady in waiting must:
o Guard the key to our heart
This statement doesn’t mean that our relationship with men are robotic and free from feelings,. It means that we focus on growing in friendship, not romance. Don’t let our heart be given away too easily. If a man says he loves us, we don’t have to echo the phrase. For men these three words can mean many kind of things, like “I lust for you” or maybe “I want you to kiss me”. But these three words can trap us emotionally and lead us on physically. To guard the key to our heart, make a commitment to say we love someone only if we love him with a commited love, not just as a casual feeling. Real love will have time to grow and blossom without those three words. Guard and save them to be whispered when God reveals it is time. Let’s give meaning to those precious words and we may use them and hear them with fondness through many happy years of marriage.
o Save all our kisses for our future husband
A woman’s kiss or embrace is not just another way of saying thank you! A kiss should say something more intimate. If it is do so, do we wanna say intimate things to every guy we date? All the kisses we have belongs to one person: our future man. If someday we think that we may be dating Mr. Right, give our friendship time to grow before we give the “fringe benefits”. He will appreciate them and respect us much more if we wait. Determine what we mean with kiss. Let it reveal our heart, not “rev up” our hormones. Why? Because a kiss starts physical contact and once we get started it’s hard to turn back from passion.
o Make our decisions and choices about what we will and will not do with our date
It is just another way to say make a “dating standards” that will help us resist the pressure to “open the gift” too early. Such as, I will date only growing Christian men, I will concentrate on the friendship not romance, etc. Write down those “dating standards” and read them often! Commit them to God regularly in prayer.
o Stand on guard when we hear “sweet talk”
Don’t let any of these lines cause us to surrender, such as if you love me…….., just try it once………, I won’t get you pregnant……. and etc.
A godly man will not pressure a woman verbally, but will cherish us with his declarations of love and take us home before they have to regret any violation of their purity.
What If It’s Too Late?
“…for I will forgive their iniquity, and their sin I will remember no more.” Jeremiah 31:34
Although it is true that there is only one first time, but God is the God of the first-time experience. If it is too late for us, let Him heal our broken heart through forgiveness. Agreed with God that we have sinned and leave the sin before Him. Guard ourself from entering into the same sin again. Learn a valuable lesson, but do not continue to beat ourself with condemnation. Jesus has paid those sins at the Calvary. There maybe consequences of our sin, but we do not have to live with the guilt of it. God is the God who forgives and forgets.
Let this be our motto:
“…but one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind [as God does] and reaching forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus” (Phil. 3:13-14)
Even though we have been freed from the guilt by confession, do not use the opportunity to continue in sin or to leave ourself open the temptation. Let’s continue to choose freedom over sin’s mastery. Fix our eyes on Jesus, cause He is the Author and Perfecter of our faith.
One last response that brings complete freedom is we must forgive and forget the sins of those who sinned againts us. We will not be free of the hurt if we harbor bitterness. A quick way to tuin a beautiful complexion is to hold on to an unforgiving, bitter attitude. If we have opened our gift too soon, so not kept from beginning new again. Accept God’s forgiveness and refuse to feel like a damaged and unworthy woman. We, dear Lady in Waiting, are treasure.
Don’t allow the flickering pleasures of an evening of “making love” destroy a lifetime of “lasting love”.