Download the book Lady In Waiting – Chapter 8 here.
This post is such a summary that I made and understand from book Lady in Waiting by Jackie Kendall and Debby Jones
Read the others Chapters:
Chapter #1 Lady of Reckless Abandonment
Chapter #2 Lady of Diligence
Chapter #3 Lady of Faith
Chapter #4 Lady of Virtue
Chapter #5 Lady of Devotion
Chapter #6 Lady of Purity
Chapter #7 Lady of Security
Chapter #9 Lady of Conviction
Chapter #10 Lady of Patience
The Torture of Desire
We may say if suffering (in our contex) is having what you don’t want (like singleness), and even wanting what we don’t have (like boyfriend and husband). Longing for something we don’t have is a universal condition, that is not limited to singleness. If now on, we are discontented single women, we maybe become one of dissatisfied married woman in the future. Lay down our terrible burden like wanting life to be on our term, to push away the torture of our desires. The restlessness caused by our desire for what we don’t have make waiting seem an impossible task. A discontented woman probably will compares the word wait with a cuss in her mnd, but a Lady in Waiting finds her capacity to wait for God’s best to be rooted in contentment.
The Capacity to Wait
Contentedly facing each day’s task, Ruth then received the attention and blessing of the most aligible bachelor in town. Naomi instructs Ruth to approach Boaz and ask him if he would be their kinsman-redeemer (see the law in Deuteronomy 25:5-10). Boaz’s respond to Ruth’s request is precious, “And now, my daughter, don’t be afraid. I will do for you all you ask. All my fellow townsmen know that you are a noble character.” (Ruth 3:11 NIV).
I will do for you all you ask, this statement is something that any woman want from a man to say her. But Boaz willingness was directly related to the chaaracter he had noticed in Ruth responses to life and God.
Ruth then returns home with the good news, but Naomi, however, doesn’t immediately respond by taking her daughter-in-law to the mall to look for a wedding grown. “Then Naomi said, ‘wait, my daughter, until you find out what happens. For the man will not rest until the matter is settled today.’” (Ruth 3:18 NIV).
The woman must wait, and the one who will not rest is the man.
Wait is such an assigment that is not to cause suffering, but to prevent it. Women will experience so much needless pain when we run ahead of God’s format. Naomi did not want Ruth’s heart to race ahead into disappointment in case the circumstances did not go as assumed.
Ditches of Discontentment
Being single can be difficult enough for a woman, but the heartbreak from being “led on” by a man ca dangerously lead to a ditch of discontentment. Most of woman are so emotionally scarred from failling into such a ditch that literally take us years to recover and rediscover the capacity to trust any man in our life.
Why some men are unware of their capacity to defraud is still a mystery. To defraud is to excite physical or emotional desires that cannot be righteously fulfilled. Because of this man’s capacity, wingle women need to be aware of common situations where a guy might lead a woman on to avoid us from a heartbreak and more effectively keep a rein on our emotions.
• Unwise things guy may say or do. Like called a woman “sunshine” as a nickname in his letter for a woman.
• Ascribing to an unwritten code: friendships with the opposite sex must be romantic and must not estabish any emotional boundaries.
• Emphasizing the future potential of the relationship rather than focusing on the present opportunities for the friendship to grow. Postpone talk of a future together, marriage, or what kind of home we want, until engagement. Don’t encourage talk of things that “night be”, but rather encourage words and actions that develop the present friendship.
The Eleventh Commandment
Woman can be defraud by men, but sometimes a single woman can sabotage her own contentment by defrauding herself. Let’s protect our contentment by adopting “Eleventh Commandment”: Thou shalt not defraud thyself.
Women defraud themselves by confusing ministry with matrimony. Such as, a guy tries to help a girl grow spiritually, but she sees his care and interest as leading inevitably to romance and marriage. Misread intentions between men and women put them on a collision course. But the crash can be avoid if the Lady in Contentment would keep in mind that our emotions must submited to the facts: ministering together is a privilege as a believer, not an automatic marriage opportunity.
To heed the Eleventh Commandment, we must consciously resist doing another good deed for a man in our life until we know the motive behind our act.
An important method of limiting our own self-defrauding is through daily discipline over “prenuptial fantasies.” Such fantasies may provide us an escape from monotonous reality, but these moments are dangerous. They will aggravate our struggle for contentment because there are not innocent daydreams, but an attack on our godly contentment. What should we do when we start daydreaming about a guy you’ve never dated or even formally met? We must take our thoughts to Jesus and leave them in His capable hands (well, this part slap my face and head suddenly, and I think you know what I mean 😥 ) This daiy discipline of taking our fantasies to Jesus is the foundation for out future as a contented woman, whether we are married or single. We also need friends who will remind us not to run ahead of God’s timing. Such monitoring or our emotions and accountability between friends is so helpful for the Christian single woman.
“My soul, wait thou only upon God; for my expectation is from Him.”
Psalm 62:5 (KJV)
Become a spiritual monitor to our closefriend when she is bubling over with joy after a date with her wonderful guy. Let’s pray for our capacity to share her joy, pray for the courage to speak the truth about surrendering her dreams to the Lord and not running ahead of Him in her expectations. A spiritual monitor knows the importance of surrundering her own expectations to the only One who can be trusted with her desires and dreams.
If we don’t have a spiritual monitor in a close friend, let’s ask the Lord to help us find such a friend.
The Mystery of Contentment
“Not that I speak from want; for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am. I know how to get along with humble means, and I also know how to live in prosperity; in any and every circumstance I have learned the secret of being filled and going hungry, both of having abundance and suffering need. I can do all things through Him who strengthens me”
Whether married or single, in prison and even when you shopping in the mall, the key to enjoy the moment is to deal with our inner contentment. When our happiness of life is based on “our terms.” It is a terrible limitation that will result in a hollow gladness. Lack of contentment is the result of the terrible burdern of wanting life on our own terms.whether married or single, one we must learn that is Jesus who strengthens us to walk ini the most dismal or delightful of our circumstances. Learning contentment will require complete dependence upon Jesus in the good even in the bad one.
Stop Arguing With the Umpire
Defrauding by a man , a friend, or even our own self, will aggravate our lack of contentment; the source of our lack contentment is not defrauding or even frustating circumstances. Our lack contentment is because of pride. When our life is not moving in the direction that we want, we start arguing. We arguing with te Umpire, Jesus. The trouble from th e beginning was a woman not listening to the Umpire, but reaching out for life on “her terms.”
But then, face any struggle that we may have with our pride-driven desire to have life on our terms with exchange our pride for Jesus, so we may accept whatever assignment the Umpire has for us from this moment forward.
My soul finds rest in God alone… (Psalm 62:1 NIV)