Download the book Lady In Waiting – Chapter 9 here.
This post is such a summary that I made and understand from book Lady in Waiting by Jackie Kendall and Debby Jones
Read the others Chapters:
Chapter #1 Lady of Reckless Abandonment
Chapter #2 Lady of Diligence
Chapter #3 Lady of Faith
Chapter #4 Lady of Virtue
Chapter #5 Lady of Devotion
Chapter #6 Lady of Purity
Chapter #7 Lady of Security
Chapter #8 Lady of Contentment
Chapter #10 Lady of Patience
For many years I sought to find my most perfect mate, But all that ever resulted from my search were shattered dreams, a broken heart and what seemed to be an endless wait. I wanted to find God’s very best, but first He had to teach me that in His loving hands, I must solely rest.
So, one evening I prayed “God, just as you put Adam to sleep until the perfect one for him, he was ready to meet; so put me and my desires to sleep until I too am ready to know the one you have chosen for me.”
From that time forward God gave me a peace And although others came into my life God protected my heart and spared me from more strife. Then when God knew that in His hands I had placedmy heart, He brought you into my life and I was history from the start.
My dear friends who know me well perhaps see tomorrow as a miraculous day. For they have known me and all my picky ways. Once while in the dorm, A.M. came into my room and asked me just exactly what I was looking for in a man. I ran to my diary and pulled out a list of 30 qualities I was looking for and on which I would insist.
As I read each trait one by one, Dear A.M. looked at me, she was very stunned. After pondering the list she said with a nod, “Well, Cindy, looks like you’ll have to marry God.” Well, God you are not, but my heaven on earth you are. God heard my prayers and answered them In the most perfect way with you.
I have no unanswered questions, no doubts, no hesitations, no reservations.
You are my Prince Charming, my knight in shining armor, my gift from the sea, my gift from God.
Cindy Jordan Feldewerth
That’s a poem by Cindy, a Lady of Conviction, to her bridegroom on her wedding day. For woman of the 90’s, does it seem to unrealistic to set her sights on a knight in shining armor? Was Cindy just got lucky and found a man that satisfied her list of “30 trait”? Do we lower our standards for our future husband just because we seem out of step with all our peers? Or we keep seeking Mr. Right after God’s standards just like Cindy did? Does the woman in Proverbs 31 seem absolete? Maybe for the “cosmopolitan” woman she is obsolete, but not for the Lady of Conviction. God has the best in hand for those who seek Him. Ruth’s choice to wait for God’s best resulted inher union with a Boaz rather than a Bozo.
‘Who am I, O Sovereign Lord, and what is my family, that you have brought me this far?’ (2 Sam. 7:18b NIV)
Ruth did not allow the past influences to keep her from setting new standards and making wise choices for her life that would honor God. She could have given up on a godly life style by assuming she was doomed as “damaged goods.” But she didn’t, she chose to break her family’s sin cycle (againts God’s standards) and establish a new godly cycle. And the Lord then working on her life. Ungodly cysles can be broken, our destiny is not something that is left to chance or fate; it is the product of wise choices.
Destiny-Chance or Choice?
Do we sometimes think that our ideals and standards are too high? We, just like ruth, will be greatly affected by our choices. Ruth’s wise choices allowed her to break a godless fmaily cycle and begin a new godly cycle. The high standard in God’s Word are not irrelevant, but completely applicable to finding God’s best for our life. Choices was guided by our convictions rather than by chance, so determine our destiny. Our present choices will affect the rest of our life in this delicate area that is often a collision course. Then let’s make a best choices with proper, biblical convictions.
“Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—His good, pleasing and perfect will.” (Romans 12:2 NIV)
What is conviction? Conviction is standard that serves as a springboard for our choices. How does one develop biblical convictions? The Lady of Conviction gives the Lord permission to renew her mind on a daily basis. She spends time searching the Word of God for standards that will guide her safely to God’s best. She has surrundered her mind to a new persuasion: God’s perspective on love and romance. The convictions that she establishes, based on the Word, allow her to resist being squeezed into mold of this world. She is become a non-conformists in a biblical sense. Our convictions gauge our ability to test and approve the relationships we’ve had or will have.
If we want to live by God’s standards for love, sex and dating, we must prepare ourself for the inevitable resistance that “standard-bearers” face. When we live by our convictions, some of our friends will think that we unrealistic even stubbornly opinioted. Facing such opposition from the people we love is not easy, but trust the Lord that He will give us grace to refuse the compromise. A true standard-bearer wants to be a vanguard in a movement. Through Jesus’s strength, believe that we can stand firm, unwavering, as we wait for His best.
What is a Bozo? A Bozo is a guy whose outward appearance is a facade. It’s hard to discern who he really is because of the “makeup and costume” he wears. What he appears physically, socially, and even spiritually is just a performance. A Bozo is a counterfeit of a Boaz.
It is possible to avoid such clown, our standard and convictions will help us to recognize the differnce. Before any girl accepts her first date, she should have establish in her heart and mind a biblical convictions and examine our motive. Many women spend time with guys who do not really care for them, waste an evening with a Bozo than face another lonely night in a dateless condition. Some women even give up their biblical convictions in order to get a date with a certain guy. Do we carry God’s standards for dating in our heart as well as our wallet or gadget? Clear standards for dating and relating will guard us againts compromise and making wrong choices out of sudden emotion rather than a God directed will. These guidelines for our dating friendships will keep God as our focus rather than allowing the guy become the focus. If some women find it difficult to raise their standards and change their patterns because they are stil entangled with the past, then do “date fast”. A period of time during which they refrain from accepting another date until they can sort out some of the unresolved conflicts in the past and find time to search a new ways of relating and dating biblically.
Wedding Day Chains
Our dateless state may pressure us to surrender to the temptation of dating unbeliever. Every Sunday churches have people attending to appease God or to satisfy a religious urge. We, as lady of Conviction, must set a higher standard and resist dating a guy who is not growing in his intimacy with Christ.
How would we describe the ideal man? A Man-Worth-Waiting-For appearance as a spiritual leader, a guy who enjoys talking about Jesus in such a way that it reveals his obvious, bursting love for Him. One woman shared a verse that she thought his life should reflect, “Whom have I in heaven but You (the Lord)? and besides You, I desire bothing on earth.” (Psalm 73:25). Do such spiritual men exist? Yes, of course. But, they are exceptions and not the rule, their appearance requires waiting on the part of the recipient. Before we considering the specific qualities found in a Boaz, one should we deal with is a certain physical stereotypes, we need to surrender our desires to the Lord. everyone has cerrtain preferences, but a mind-set needs about man’s appearance needs to be given to Jesus. We need to be open to guys who do not fit our desired stereotypes and let God rearrange our heart to look for His best not by man’s physical stereotypes.
These characteristics below maybe a set of Man-Worth-Waiting-For’s standards to have a prospective steady date:
• Puts the needs of others ahead of his own. This such man accpets people just the way they are and loving others even when his love is not returned.
Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others
• Rejoices in his relationship with Christ. His joy in the Lord is evident in his life.
These things I have spoken to you, so that My joy may be in you, and that your joy may be made full.
• Maintains proper relationship. This man seeks a good relationship with everyone. He works to forgive wrongs done to him and seeks to make his own offenses right.
Pursue peace with all men….. (Hebrew 12:14)
• Refuses to jump ahead of God’s timing. He chooses againts impulsiveness so he may be in the exact center of God’s will.
Rest in the Lord and wait patienly for Him….. (Psalm 37:7)
• Seeks to meet the practical needs of others. He is not self-absorbed. He is interest in the welfare of others and willing to give his time, money, and energy for their benefit.
Be kind to one another, tender-hearted….. (Ephesians 4:32)
• Stands for what is right. He lives for God’s holy character and known as a man of integrity by those with whom he works.
There will be….glory and honor and peace to everyone who does good….. (Romans 2:9-10)
• Follows through on his God-given responsibilities. He uses the talents God has given him and realizes that he+Jesus = adequancy for any God-given job. He is dependable and stays with even a difficult task until it is completed.
Now it is required that those who have been given a trust must prove faithful (1 Corinthians 4:2 NIV)
• Flees temptations to compromise. He doens’t allow a temper to control him or anger to destroy him.
Like a city that is broken into and without walls is a man who has no control over his spirirt (Provebs 25:28)
These qualities are not unrealistic ideals. When a man follows Jesus, the Holy Spirit works these into his life.
“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; againts such things there is no law.” (Galatia 5:22-23)
This doesn’t mean that a guy has to be perfect in order for us to go out with him. It does mean that he needs to be growing in Christlikeness by the enabling power of the Holy Spirit before we start to date him.
Do we want to marry a knight in shining armor like Boaz? Then set our standards high. To be married to a man who loves the Lord and wants to serve Him is one of life’s highest privileges. It is worth whatever wait, whatever cost.nail down our convictons and refuse to compromise by dating men who are not controlled by God’s Holy Spirit. These standards wil stand guard over the castle of our heart.
“Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.” (Proverbs 4:23 NIV)